I was convinced everyone else received an instruction manual on how to be a “proper” adult, and somehow, I never got a copy.
It wasn’t until I was recently diagnosed with ADHD that I realized I’m not the only one out here sniffing rogue socks to see if they’re clean.
For years, I thought I was the thing that was wrong in my life.
I’ve read tons of articles and posts on “adulting,” but the hacks, routines, and advice that help other people keep their houses clean, maintain active social lives, and go to bed without a sink full of dirty dishes never worked for me. It didn’t matter how hard I tried or how guilty I felt, I never could figure out how to get my life together like that.
My ADHD diagnosis allowed me to accept that there wasn’t something inherently broken in me. It opened my eyes to the fact I had been trying to fix my problems using the wrong tools. I wasn’t lazy, and I wasn’t broken—I just needed approaches that worked with my brain instead of against it.
That realization changed everything. I knew I wanted to connect with people like me who feel behind in life because we don’t seem to have everything together yet.
I created Manual Not Included as a space to explore different ways of doing adulthood with ADHD, to find solutions for day-to-day problems, and let go of the guilt that comes from not doing things the “right” way.
Life didn’t come with instructions, so let’s figure it out together.
How I Got Here
One day, while scrolling social media, I fell down a rabbit hole of videos made by a content creator with ADHD. I ended up watching a lot of his content, and before long my feed was full of videos about ADHD. The more videos I saw, the more I thought, “This sounds like me.”
I mentioned this to my therapist at the time and asked if there could be a possibility that I had ADHD. She said, in no uncertain terms, that I didn’t.
That conversation took place nearly two years before I finally decided to seek an ADHD assessment.
In March of 2026, I was really struggling to function. Doing day-to-day tasks took a Herculean effort, and feelings of shame and guilt were eating me alive because of how behind I was on my to-do lists. I was sure life shouldn’t feel this hard.
I’d been out of therapy for nearly six months, and I knew I needed help. I ended up calling a new provider’s office and set up an appointment for an ADHD assessment—I think you can guess how it went.
These days, instead of feeling ashamed of my perceived faults, I’m full of hope as I navigate this new relationship with my brain. I know now that I was never the problem; the systems I was trying to use were the issue—they were never built for me.
Getting diagnosed didn’t give me all the answers, but it did give me a place to start. Suddenly, there’s a whole new world to explore, a new language to learn, and new strategies to try.
About Me
When I’m not writing for Manual Not Included, I’m a nurse living in Buffalo, NY. (Go Bills!)
I’m 31 years old and spend most of my free time with the two great loves of my life: my husband, Kyle, and our dog, Artemis.
Curling up with a book is one of my favorite hobbies (we even turned our front sitting room into a library when we bought our house).
A few other things you should know about me: I love all things fall, crafting with my friends, and unwinding with a cup of tea. I might be addicted to diet pop, and I’m unapologetically a Disney adult.