Manual Not Included

This goes in the ‘Are you serious?!’ categoryPosted by Kara on February 4th, 2010

I flew to Anaheim and back this week, a 3 hour flight from Dallas. I’m not a very good traveler because I didn’t prepare by bringing something to occupy my mind. To tell you the truth, I was planning on racking up as many hours sleeping as physically possible, so I didn’t think a book or laptop would be necessary. I had my exit row window seat, my travel pillow, and I was getting there 3 hours early so I would have ample time for a nap. American Airlines had different plans. They decided I needed to wait in the terminal for 4 hours, that I would be better suited in a regular row middle seat at the back of a crowded plane, and I should arrive in California 2o minutes before my meeting  was scheduled to begin. Thank you, American Airlines.

In fact, this post was likely going to be about the airline industry and would contain words like ‘cattle’ and ‘herding’ and ‘customer always right’. After all, I am a blogger who has no entertainment and is being forced to sit in an airport terminal for 4 hours NOT taking a nap – the only thing left for my mind to do was etch an airline bashing blog into the wall of the terminal as I stared at it for hours! But American redeemed themselves on my return flight. I arrived at my terminal 3 hours before my flight was scheduled to take off, and they found me a seat on a flight leaving 20 minutes after I arrived at the airport. Not only that, I had an entire row to myself, and the row in front of me was completely empty. Oh, sweet, sweet personal space! But, alas, still no entertainment. I found the Sky Mall magazine and perused the products, slowly examining each item so my task of getting through the magazine took as long as possible. Lurking in the middle of the magazine were these pair of shoes.

Do you see what I see? Shoes with sperm on them! I jerked my head up and searched to make eye contact with someone, anyone. I wanted to share my discovery, see if they saw what I saw. A shoe with a wiggly DNA transporter on it! But no one was around. The only time I’ve ever been on a plane and actually wanted someone to share the same space with me and the only option was the young mother sitting in the row behind me entertaining her 5 year old daughter. Using my better judgment, I opted not to spark a conversation about procreation between the young mother and her child and decided instead to share it with you, internet. It’s a shoe with sperm on it! And it’s an actual brand! I attempted giving them the benefit of the doubt by assuming that maybe it was a foreign company, but I’m pretty sure sperm looks the same universally. And I checked the website. They’re from the US. And they thought sperm would make a good logo. Are you serious?!